Tangled Up In Blue

It is difficult to explain the notion of intersectionality to someone that might no view themselves as a dynamic multiplicity of meanings. Every person has multiple words that they would/ could use to identify themselves. However, people are usually not encouraged to embrace those words. We are labels, whether we wish to be or not. I am in a constant state of gender operationalization. I wish that I could manage all of the different labels that I defying and adhering to at once but, that is essentially impossible. The coming out process for gay people is not an event. There is no Outmitzfah that someone announces their place in the world and that is the one time they must do so. In fact for members of the LGBTQ community it is essential to pick and choose when they can be themselves and when there are other issues that need to be foregrounded. I feel this sort of pressure on a regular basis.

Butch, Dyke, Femme

Being a lesbian teacher during a tumultuous time period in the gay rights movement has not been easy. Moving to the Midwest has also changed my perceptions on the status of gay people in our country. For five years as an undergraduate I was a confident outspoken lesbian. Now, there are times I pray that I go unnoticed. I have never felt more pressure to conform and to fit ideal standards of femininity until recently, and my mother works in fashion! I get a lot of pressure to, "look like a woman."

I had never really sought the comfort of an LGBTQ group until I moved to a place that did not welcome gay people. There is a fundamental difference between being welcomed and being tolerated. At the very least I am tolerated, in Minnesota. However, that varies from person to person. Lately, I have felt extremely isolated and have been thinking about approaching an LGBTQ center and actually being part of queer community and family, but now I am scared. For the time in my adult life, I feel scared about my lesbianism. I feel like if I come out of the closet that students that do not like me will retaliate. I know that seems like a far fetched or paranoid, but this is the sort of behavior that is inherent to someone that is experiencing this phase in gender identity development.

Tomboy, Lesbian, Queer

I had never really felt the sting of gender identity until I committed to cutting off my hair. I went from someone that could pass as woman to a dyke, literally overnight. I would never classify myself as a "dyke." I am really feminine. I just wear men's clothes. Many people are surprised, after they know me for an extended period of time, because they would not have expected me to be that person. I know who I am. Because gender is a fluid continuum, I am constantly negotiating gender identity. This is probably why I identified the most with D'Augelli's model of gender identity, because it is contingent on interactive processes and environments. I felt more comfortable being a lesbian in Long Beach for multiple reasons. I had to transition, in many ways. I needed to adjust to the Midwest, to being a teacher, being a coach, and I had to do all of this with my partner. The difficulties that one faces as an LGBTQ student and teacher are ever piling. I would not suggest that LGBTQ people face more difficulties than others but as student affairs professionals it is important to notice the unique problems that usually affect these students.