Marcia's Ego Identity Status and the Committment to Graduate School

My family is a crisis in my life. There is always something that is happening in my family that constitutes for adults to devolve into children, in the Kohlberg sense, and force someone to instruct and guide. I am usually that guide. That has been my role ironically, since I have been a child. The crises my change however, there are trends in how those situations are handled. First and foremost, my family is a landmine of personalities. Appeasing one, in some way tips the balance for the other. I have three aunts on my mother’s side and they all seem to “Know what’s best,” in any given situation. They have no understanding of the world outside of their own bubble, which can function on two levels; metaphorical and Pittsburgh, PA.

Although in academia, we often discuss the problems of stereotyping and essentializing, my family could not seem to understand. I find it troubling, because I want to value their life and experience and wisdom, but that courtesy is not extended to me. For example, going to graduate school is a foolish choice to them. I should just get a job. They fail to recognize that I left California at a tumultuous time when everyone applying for a job would have been equally as qualified, or more qualified than I was. Also, I can’t get the career that I want without going to graduate school. This idea confuses them. They are all very smart and resourceful women, and for the most part, I am proud to share their company and gene pool. That being said my family could easily drive me up the wall.

It is important to note, that I grew up an entire country away from my family. My parents moved to California, away from my family. Although, California and Pennsylvania are in the same country they are worlds away from each other. Pittsburgh in particular is still a very blue collar town that happens to be a metropolitan city as well. My family operates a successful beer distribution business in Pittsburgh. Our different backgrounds play into our conflict. My mother often received criticism from her family at how expressive I was, even as a child. Both of my parents valued my ability to speak up for what I believed in. In many ways, I think that this supercharged when I would experience Erikson’s stages of development. I had to deal with internal conflict at a younger age and spent a lot of time by myself. I did not have the words to accurately address what I was going through, however when I examine those phases of development, I developed early, in the internal intellectual reflective sense.

Reflection is the key ability one needs in order to asses which ego identity status one falls within. James Marcia’s ego identity statuses require attention to a crisis that might not necessarily be happening at the moment, but one that has happened. It is a rare person that can reflectively examine what ego status they are currently operating. There are four ego identity states outlined by Marcia.

The crisis that I have chosen to isolate would be my choice to attend graduate school at Minnesota State University, Mankato. This might not seem like a crisis to someone that has lived in the Minnesota or the Midwest their entire life, however to a native Californian many conflicts came into play in making the decision that literally brought me to where I am today.

My family did not approve of my attending graduate school mainly because they have attended college and do not understand the full value of a college degree. Also they operate under the college is a utility to a career that makes money. However, I realized in college that I was more focused on the praxis of knowledge rather than getting a career. I was given a lot of grief for deciding to apply for graduate school. I was reminded of how expensive it would be, instead of the benefits of continuing my academic career. My family was focusing on what it cost and not what the education is worth. My family and I have different values that came into conflict. I had matured in college and deviated from their beliefs and that was the core of the confrontation. I played with many different ways to solve the problem. I considered the possibility that my family was correct and I should just get a job somewhere however there were many other factors that came into play, like the unemployment rate and the economic decline as whole that has been effecting our country since September of 2008. I committed to the goal of completing graduate school and becoming a teacher. I also committed to the expensive cross country moving adventure and expense with my partner of two years. She had to uproot and leave her family behind. It was a difficult decision but after carefully weighing all options we moved and we are both here today finishing up our education with the support of our families.

Upon reflection I think that I handled the situation with Marcia’s Identity Achievement Status. The conflict existed over a long period of time and I came to the decision not based on what I thought my family would think of me, rather I was more concerned with what achieving a master’s degree would mean for me and the future that I had laid out. It involved great risk on my part, and my native Californian girlfriend. However, moving here has benefited us in many ways that we never could have imagined. Multiple alternatives were explored but this ended up being a decision that we both could be happy with and our families could respect.